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Oh yeeeahhh [20 Oct 2006|10:33pm]
Man, I never update this thing.

I just wanted to say that I CAN'T WAIT to graduate in December.

I also wanted to say that I'm meeting Jared Padalecki in Chicago in February. Best weekend of my life?

That is all...for now.
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Definitely been a while. [08 Aug 2006|08:08pm]
I haven't updated this thing in forever. Oh well.

So here I am, the day after my 20th birthday. I'm 20. I'm not a teenager anymore and that totally freaks me out. I don't feel old enough to be 20.

I look at my life and I sometimes worry about it. I'll be graduating college in December with a liberal arts degree. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm beginning to think I'll never figure it out. I have no idea what I'm going to do after I graduate. No idea at all.

I still live with my parents. I know that's not unusal for a 20 year old, but still...I don't see myself moving out anytime soon. I'm such a home body. I like living here. I don't even have enough money to move out if I wanted to. I'm also afraid to leave because if I leave I think mom's going to leave and then dad would be here alone. I honestly don't think dad could handle that. I hate that that's holding me back, but it is.

I'm beginning to think I'm never going have a boyfriend again. I feel so lame, seriously, I'd love to just have someone who cares about me, someone to hang out with like that. I just haven't met anyone and I'm scared that I never will.

I need to get out more, but it's hard when all of my best friends live in different states.

Talia and I have talked about me moving to Michigan. I've thought about it a lot. But again, it's the leaving home thing. I just don't know if I could be that far away from my family. Plus I'm scared to fly and that's a long drive. I wish she lived closer.

I feel like I need to just do something big in my life, get myself out there. I don't know what to do. I just know this isn't where I thought I'd see myself when I was 20 years old.

But anyway. Blah.
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[19 Oct 2005|07:13pm]
I had a really great weekend!

Saturday Ash came over and we went down to Poughkeepsie to see The Rocket Summer. We got there pretty early and met up with Gina and Erin. We met Bryce a few times before the show. Bryce is The Rocket Summer, in case you don't know. He would stop and talk to us as he walked by because the only way into the Loft was the door we were waiting by. It was pretty fun. They let us around 7. We were in the front row. The opening acts weren't too bad. Bryce came on and he only played 6 songs. They cut him off and he was really bummed about it. The 6 songs he did play were really, really good though. I can't wait to see him play a whole set.

After the show (which was over by 9:30) we hung around for a long time. We met up with Bryce again and took some pictures. Ash, Gina, Erin, and I all went out to the parking lot and hung out for a while. Another girl we were there with, Jeana knows Bryce pretty well. She was talking to him outside of the venue and we walked over there. His band really wanted to go to Taco Bell and Bryce asked us if we wanted to come. Like he even needed to ask haha. We all followed them there. It was closed inside, so we decided to eat in the parking lot. Their van couldn't get close enough to the speaker, so they couldn't order and chaos ensued haha...it was very amusing. It eventually all got worked out though and we all parked and ate our food there. We stayed there in that parking lot for at least an hour just talking and hanging out. It was really fun. Bryce is a really cool, funny, nice guy. It's cool to kind of "get to know" the guy behind the music I've been listening to so much. I still kind of can't believe that happened, but I'm so happy it did. I'd write about all the stuff we talked about, but it would take a while!

Pictures? ok!


Bryce and Me!





Sunday I went with Chris and his friend Nate to Albany to see Nightmare of You. We went to this place called Bombers that had the biggest burritos of my life. It was pretty good though! We went to the show and saw Travis there. I haven't seen Travis in well over a year. He was selling Nightmare of You's merch. I bought a t shirt! We also saw Dann, Even, Kellen (Rollens), Brianna, and Evan. Lots of people came out for this show. Nightmare of You played for about 25 minutes. They sounded really good. We didn't stay for the other bands. We left right after they played.

Tomorrow we're going to Albany to see Gym Class Heroes which should be really fun! Saturday the Cast of Viva La Bam is coming to my school. That will be fun.

Ok. I guess I should go shower now!

P.S. Bryce just got signed to Island, so he's pretty much going to be huge. You will all know who The Rocket Summer is very soon!
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[09 Oct 2005|01:19am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Its been a bad few days. I haven't cried this much in a long time. I guess its just a whole bunch of things all coming into my head and making me feel really depressed. I really hate school. On Friday I got two really horrible grades in two different classes. I was already feeling like crap that day and that didn't help at all. I cried the whole way driving home.

I wish I could stop feeling like this. I wish I could just get out of this house and do something, but I have no one to do anything with and it sucks. Its like the highlights of my days are talking to Talia on the phone. I really wish she lived here. I hate having so many long distance friends.

I'm lame. I just have to deal with it.

At least I don't have class on Monday or Tuesday. That will be nice. I'll sit at home and do absoluetly nothing like I always do.

I guess I'll try to go bed.

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Let tomorrow come and take my time away [01 Oct 2005|09:21pm]
[ mood | tired ]

It's Saturday. Saturdays are good.

Dad hired some guy to re-do the shingles on our roof. Yesterday and today he started at 6:30 am. The roof is right above my room. It's pretty hard to sleep when someone is walking around, hammering, and making all kinds of noises right above you. I really hope he finishes this soon because I miss sleeping in.

Last night I went over to Chris's and hung out. We went out to Tex Mex with Lindsey and Jon. It was delicious. We went back to Chris's apartment and watched the baseball game because Chris loves baseball. After that was over we just sat around and listened to Kellen's band and Nightmare of You. I played them some Panic! At the Disco. Chris thinks they sound exactly like Fall Out Boy...which is kind of true I guess, but I don't really listen to Fall Out Boy.

I also brought the new AP over so Chris could see the Gym Class Heroes article with the huge picture and the I Am the Avalanche article. I know Chris is really happy for them, but I can tell he really regrets turning Matt down when he asked him to join. He talked about it a lot last night. I bet it really sucks for him to watch his friends be in successful bands even though he's happy for them. Chris is so much more talented than any of them. He should be the one in AP. He will be. I seriously have no doubt in my mind that my brother will be huge one day. His time will come, I know it. He deserves it more than pretty much anyone. As much as I'm going to hate it when he moves to Long Island, I know he needs to do it. He needs to be down there where he actually has a chance to get somewhere with his music.

Anyway, Talia's going to be calling soon so I'll just go now.

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Mehh [27 Sep 2005|01:41am]
I can't sleep. Too many things on my mind.

Let's think about happy things.

Concert schedule:

October 15th - The Rocket Summer in Poughkeepsie. I really am pumped about this show. Bryce is amazing and I'm so glad Jess and Ash listened to him so much on our trip this summer because I would have never gotten into him if I hadn't been pretty much forced to listen to him every time we got in the car haha. Ash and I are going to this show and I'm really looking forward to seeing her again because I haven't seen her since July.

October 16th - Nightmare of You in Albany. I'm going with Chris and Lindsey to this show. I love Nightmare of You. Their new album is so good. I've loved these guys since they became a band and now they're getting big. Last time I saw them was last year with Brand New. I saw them once before that with My Chemical Romance. Can't wait to see them again.

October 20th - Gym Class Heroes in Albany. I'm going with Chris. We're getting in for free! I'm really excited to see them because I really do love their music...which is crazy because I've always been so against rap. They're different. I'm pumped.

October 28th - Hanson in Philly. Going with Ash and Jess. Yay road trip. I'm really hoping I can skip my phychology class that day because if I can't we won't be leaving until at least 2:30 and we wouldn't get to the show until like...right when it started. I'm sure I'll be able to skip it, but I won't know until it gets closer. We're staying at Mandi's house that night with a million other people.

Ocotber 29th - Hanson in Atlantic City. Two Hanson shows in a row. I think I'll probably explode. Going with Ash and Jess of course.

November 5th - Hanson in Hampton Beach. YES. BEACH. Weird that I saw Hanson play at Carnegie Hall on November 5th two years ago. Ok, not that weird. Going to this with Ash. We're staying with Sassy at her dorm that night.

November 12th - Hanson in Cleveland. This show was so do-able, I had to go. First I asked Allison if she wanted to come, but she couldn't. I then went out on a limb and asked Steph, totally expecting her to be like "it's too much money" or "I don't really want to see Hanson." She was so into it though. I think she's more excited about the road trip than the actual show. I'm really excited for Steph to see Hanson. I've never gone to a Hanson show with someone who didn't listen to them before. She'll have fun. We're meeting TALIA there! I haven't seen Talia since Mayfest. Me, Steph, Talia, and Stephanie are all staying at the Holiday Inn Express Downtown. It's right across the street from the venue, it's perfect. Plus it's not even that much since we're splitting it between the 4 of us.

So much good stuff to look forward to. I can't even wait.

In other news, Jesse actually answered his phone last Thursday and we hung out. Of course Val had to be there though. It was alright. Val just had a kid in August, which is crazy to me. She's 19...but it's just weird that kids I graduated with are having babies. I got to hold her baby. He started crying so I gave him to Jesse. Jesse's really sweet. The baby fell asleep in his arms and Jesse would give him kisses sometimes. Boys with babies. Cute.

Jesse and I are going to hang out sometime again, go to a movie or something. Maybe I'll call him this weekend. I really hope he and I can start hanging out on a regular basis because I feel like I really need more friends around here. Jesse and Steph are really the only two people from high school I still talk to. I guess since Jess has gone to college she has decided she wants nothing to do with us anymore, she's got a whole new life now. It's sad because in high school she and I were pretty close now I'll probably never see her again. Nicole...who even knows what she's doing. Jesse told me she doesn't work at the County Building anymore so right now she has no job and she's not in college. I guess I can't really judge her or say what she should or shouldn't do since it's her life, but I think she really should have stayed in school. Now that she left I really don't think she's going to go back. Hopefully she'll figure things out.

It's 2 am and I have to get up at 9:30 tomorrow. I still don't feel that tired. I guess I'll try to sleep though.

I'm so out of here.
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Plans! [07 Sep 2005|11:43pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I wish it was October right now, but I know it'll go by fast. I have so much stuff coming up. I can't even wait.

Listen to this. Isn't it exciting?

Thursday, October 27th
Jess flies in from Michigan. Ashley is picking her up at the Rochester airport.

Friday, October 28th
I meet up with Jess and Ash. We haven't figured it out yet, but we will. We take my car down to Philadelphia to see Hanson! We stay at Mandi's for the night with like 20 other people haha

Saturday, October 29th
We drive to Atlantic City to see Hanson again! We stay at a hotel that night with a bunch of other people!

Saturday, November 5th
Ash and I drive 5 hours to Hampton Beach, NH to see Hanson! We'll be staying with Sassy for the night!

Saturday, November 12th
Steph and I drive to Cleveland to see Hanson! Steph doesn't listen to Hanson, but she's going anyway. She loved road trips. I'm so excited for her to see them. Talia thinks she's going to this show too and I really hope she is because I want to see her!


Ughhh so excited. Why is this all so far away!

In other news, I met Dennis Haskins aka MR. BELDING FROM SAVED BY THE BELL today!



check us out!

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School = Death [30 Aug 2005|11:08pm]
I hate that it's 11 at night and I feel tired. All summer I stayed up until 3 am and I hate that I can't do that anymore. School needs to die a horrible death.

Speaking of school, I've now officially had all four of my classes. My music class is going to be unbelieveably easy. I don't really know about my other classes. In Business Communications today we had to get up in front of the class and say our names, our major, where we're from, what we did this summer, 3 things about us, and something good that happened to us in the last 24 hours. Mine went a little like this:

"I'm Kim, I'm a liberal arts major. I'm from Franklin. This summer I went on road trip with my friends to Tulsa, Oklahoma to see a concert. I like concerts and music. I ate subway last night and that was good."

The class laughed at my subway comment. It was a lie though. I actually didn't eat subway last night. I couldn't think of anything good that happened to me in the last 24 hours, so I came up with that. It went over well.

Public speaking makes me want to throw up. I should have said "I hate public speaking" as one of the 3 things about me.

I called Jesse yesterday and it went right to his voicemail. I left a message asking him to call me back. Did he? No. I hate when people don't call me back. I'll try again tomorrow. I miss that kid.

Taylor Hanson has a beard and a mustasch. If you just look at him from the side it looks kind of good.



hmm.
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Geeeez [27 Aug 2005|10:35pm]
Its been a long time! I think I'm going to try to update this again. We'll see how that goes!

I called Chris today to see if he wanted to go to lunch. He said he did and told me to come over. I went over to his apartment (for those who care, he lives on main street now, not elm street and I kind of hate it because parking sucks and his new apartment is so small). He and Lindsey were waiting for me outside the apartment so I didn't have to park. They wanted to go to Hannaford to get salads, I wanted to go to Subway because Subway is my life. We did both and then went to Wilbur Park and ate on the ground. Yes, we had a picnic. I'm not a fan of picnics. Too many effing bugs.

We went back to Chris's apartment to hang out. Chris parked my car on the street and told me not to worry about the parking meter because he has never gotten a ticket. I have serious anxieties when it comes to parking my car places. I put a quater in anyway which gave me an hour.

I think what I love most about going to Chris's is that even just sitting there on the couch in front of the TV is fun. We watch music videos and Chris and his friends just make fun of everything and it's hilarious. Sometimes I feel like they should have their own show on TV where they just do commentary over music videos. Everyone would love it.

So Chris, Lindsey, and I were sitting there watching the music video for that "Pon De Replay" song. Kellen walks in and just looks at us as we're sitting there not talking watching this ridiculous video for this ridiculous song. It was pretty funny. Aparently Vinnie is sick, so Kellen's band (I Am the Avalanche) is on a little break right now and Kellen came home. It was nice to see him again. I haven't seen him since new years. He sat down and watched music videos with us too.

Chris informed me that Frank was in Oneonta with his girlfriend. I didn't know he had a new girlfriend. It's not like I think now that there's any chance I have with him, but I do still like him and I often wonder if we ever could have had a relationship if we didn't crash and burn. I guess we'll never know. Anyway, I would have been happy to see Frank if he didn't have his girlfriend with him. Luckily I didn't have to. Chris wanted to go to Pine Lake and he gathered all his friend up. He asked me to come, but I didn't really want to especially since Frank and his girlfriend were going to be there. So when they were leaving for Pine Lake I said goodbye to everyone and left for home. Pretty exciting day.

Summer is over on Monday. Classes start and I'm going to hate life. I start up work study again too. Not looking forward to this. I've had such an amazing summer though. It all went by so fast. Lets have a quick recap:

Driving to Tulsa, OK in May to see Hanson - Sometimes I still can't believe I did that. I can't believe I got to see Hanson in their hometown and then go see the Documentary with them. That whole trip was amazing.

Seeing Hanson in New Jersey - Probably one of the best Hanson shows I've been to ever. I loved it. I made eye contact with Isaac a few times. It was creepy.

Chicago trip - Seeing Brendan Leonard again was pretty awesome. I want to marry Pat Mohr...I would settle for Michael Carney though.

What a great freaking summer. Although school sucks, I do have a few things to look forward to like:

10.28 - Hanson (Philly)
10.29 - Hanson (Atlantic City)
11.05 - Hanson (Hampton Beach)

3 Hanson shows on one tour? Come on. Who am I?

Alright. I'm done!
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[09 Apr 2005|10:23am]
[ mood | awake ]

Yeah, its been forever since I've updated.

So last night I went over to Chris's and we went to the Park with all of his friends. It was probably like 57 degrees or something and we were standing in the shade and the wind was blowing. So, I was pretty cold. Frank showed up like 30 minutes after we got there. I told him how cold I was and he let me wear his Scraps hoodie. He pretty much saved my life.

We played some ultimate frisbee (actually, I just ran around and pretended like I was playing. I didn't touch the frisbee once). It got too dark so we decided to stop playing. My team lost.

We went back to Chris's and hung out at Brian's apartment for a while. There was a Cosmo Magazine on the table and Frank took it and made me take a "How Fun are You?" quiz. After the first question he was like, "I can see where this is going" haha. Turns out I'm not very fun.

After a while we went back over to Chris's where I watched them eat food. Then we went downstairs and the guys started smoking, so I went back upstairs and called Talia. After a few minutes Frank came upstairs with me and finshed making his food. He had to get up at 6 so he told me he was going to go to bed soon, but I could watch TV with him if I wanted. So I sat in the kitchen while he got ready for bed. Talia called me back and I talked to her for a while. Frank stole the phone from me and talked to her for a while. Then we went into his room and watched his Seinfeld DVD for a while then we watched Law and Order. Chris kept text messaging me. I think he was trying to distract me from whatever was going on...which was nothing this time. After a while Frank was pretty much falling asleep and I was way tired so I told him I was going to go. He got up and went to the front door with me. I called Chris, who was at Brian's apartment and he came out front and said goodbye then I went home.

It was a pretty good night. Frank mentioned hanging out today, but we didn't make any plans. He said he'd IM me.

Mom hasn't given me an answer about going to Tulsa to see Hanson yet. If she says no I will cry...a lot.

What else? hmmm. Oh school. Delhi's ok. It's way better then Herkimer. I enjoy living at home. I've only talked to Veronica like twice since I left.

I'm seeing Green Day and My Chemical Romance in Binghamton on the 27th. I'm pretty pumped.

Maybe I'll update more often, maybe I won't.

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...what the neighbors never know [18 Jan 2005|11:37pm]
[ mood | tired ]

It's -18 out. That's cold.

So Steph calls me at 6 and asks me to go to a Tai Chi class with her. Here I am thinking maybe she wants to hang out or go to a movie or something...nope, she wants to go to a Tai Chi class. I laughed a lot. I told her I'd go. I honestly didn't even know what Tai Chi is. So she picks me up at like 6:45. The class starts at 7. It takes a while to find the place. When we get there we look through the window and see the class had started and it looked really weird. We decided it would be too awkward to go in, so we left.

We went to the mall and I see that Nate's working. We went in a saw him. Steph got popcorn in a small cup because she had no money. We talked for a few minutes. I haven't talked to him in person for a long time, so it was nice to see him.

I got home around 8:30. Watched American Idol. Fun night.

Tomorrow I'm going over to Delhi to see the school, find my classrooms, and get my books.

So yeah...that's about it.

I'll be waking up at 4:50 am to listen to a Hanson interview in Holland. I'm dedicated.

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up against your wall [03 Jan 2005|11:51pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Happy New Year!

Well we took Jess back to the airport today. She's home now. We had a really fun time. I wish she lived closer. I wish all my really good friends didn't live in completely different states. I mean...I have friends here, but I really don't consider them to be my "best" friends. There's really no one, besides Nicole, who I can call up and be like "wanna hang out?"

Plus it's really fun having someone who likes Hanson around.

NYC was a good time. We met Sara down there. I got to go to Carnegie Hall again. I reenacted Hanson, Natalie, Kate, and Walker coming out of the backdoor after the show for Jess and Sara. I think those were some of the best impressions I've ever done. Here's a picture of the three of us in NYC.



You can see more of them here.

New Years was fun. Chris's show was funny. They totally weren't serious the whole time and that made it fun. I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time. Like...Kellen.



Ohh Kellen.

Another fun thing that night was receiving a kiss from Shawnee Sanders. That was unexpected and very nice.

So I like Frank a lot. He's fun (I keep using the word fun) when Katie's not around. Like Chris had him do the soundcheck at the show and the whole time he was at the mic he just kept saying my name over and over. Then he was all "You and me at midnight, kiss?" I don't think I'll ever know if he's just joking around with all this stuff he says or if he possibly likes me...and if he did like me, I wouldn't know what to do because I like Nate so much. But I like Frank too. I just don't know.

In other news...I have a serious addiction to Hanson Fan Fiction and it's really quite sad.

Alright. I'm super tired. Jess and I were up until 3 am and then this morning we had to get up at 8:40. I suppose it's bed time.

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Come down now [27 Dec 2004|01:09pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I love break! I also love the fact that I never have to go back to Herkimer ever again. I don't have to go back to school until like January 24th or something. At least I'll be at Delhi and I'll be living at home.

Since I've been home I've hung out with people I haven't seen in what seems like forever...like Michelle. She called and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. So we went. It was nice to see her again. I can't believe she's almost 20. That's crazy.

On Tuesday when I got home Steph called and asked if I wanted to go to Albany. So we went to Albany and went to the crossgates mall. I really like hanging out with Steph. It's crazy that we've known each other since we were like 3 years old and we still hang out to this day. She's in Florida right now. I'm jealous.

I asked Nate to go to the The Used and My Chemical Romance show down in Poughkeepsie on February 24th. He said he wanted to go, he just needed to check his schedule and he'd let me know. I hope he has nothing to do on that day. Also, I think he's coming with Erin to Chris's show on New Years. Erin was going to ask him about that.

Jess is coming tomorrow! That's exciting.

I suppose I should go clean some more.

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stay if you wanna know the way throught the mess we've made [13 Dec 2004|02:44pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

Is it possible that this is my last week of classes? I cannot even express how badly I want to be out of here. I started packing my clothes last night. I think I'm going to take down some of the posters and pictures I have up in my room later today. I'm going to take a few things home this weekend. Tuesday mom, dad, and Chris are coming up to help me completely move out. I can't wait for that.

Schedule for the the next week and 2 days:

12/14 - TV class, Public Relations
12/15 - Work, English.
12/16 - Public Relations final at 9:30.
12/17 - Work, English, home
12/18 - Home
12/19 - Back to school
12/20 - English final at 10:30
12/21 - TV class final 8:00. MOVE OUT.

Almost there.

This weekend was fun. Chris had a show at his house on Friday. Then on Saturday they had another party at the house. Nate came. He only stayed for like 20 minutes, but it was still nice that he was there. We talked, but there was definitely some awkwardness. I really like him. I wish I knew how he felt.

Veronica left and said she won't be back until 8. That's fun.

Alright. It's almost Boy Meets World time.

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give me a reason to believe [02 Dec 2004|12:52pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

21 days until I go home for good! 11 days of classes left. I believe my last final is on the 21st. I'm not sure when my English final is, but I seriously hope it isn't on the 22nd.

So both of the Story of the Year shows I was going to in November got cancelled. Awesome.

December is going to be a good month. Let's list the good things about this month.

1. I'M DONE WITH HERKIMER. I NEVER HAVE TO COME BACK EVEEEERRR.
2. Winter break
3. Christmas
4. Jess is coming!
5. New York City
6. New Years eve

It just better not snow a lot.

Things with Nate are going slowly. I wish we could just hang out sometime, but it's hard since I'm here and he's in Oneonta and he usually works on Fridays and Saturdays. Maybe over winter break we can hang out. He did say he was going to go to Chris's show on New Years Eve. I hope he does.

I guess Veronica and I are going to go to Barnes and Noble in Utica soon so I'm gonna go.

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I was the one worth leaving [21 Nov 2004|05:05pm]
[ mood | full ]

I'm going home for Thanksgiving break on Tuesday! I get to spend 6 days at home. I can't wait. I'm also excited for Thanksgiving. We're going to Erin and Allison's house. Mom and Bobby are making vegan gravy and vegan lasagna for Chris and me. Chris is also spending the night at the house that night which is nice.

Last night Nicole and I went to Oneonta. I was having issues with my cell phone so I went to cell one in the mall to see what was up. After that I went and saw Nate at the movies. We talked about cell phones. It was intense conversation. He IMed me at like 1:30 am when I got home. What a nice boy.

Speaking of last night...Nicole managed to go over the curb and hit a pole at Wendys. It wasn't very fun standing out in the rain for an hour.

Less than 30 days left at Herkimer! Yaaay.

On the 30th Veronica and I are going to see Story of the Year, Sum 41, and The Explosion in Syracuse. I'm pretty pumped about that. The SOTY show in Geneseo this weekend got cancelled. Blah.

I just ate Taco Bell. It was good.

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Midtown? [15 Nov 2004|03:33pm]

Gabe and Me!


Rob and Me!


Heath, Me, Rob


Yaaaay Midtown.
3 comments|post comment

[04 Nov 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Its been a while.

After this semester I'm transferring to Delhi. I've already applied and been accepted. Next Thursday I'm going there to schedule my classes.

I can't stay here for another semester. I can't wait to move out and go back home. I'm going to be so much happier.

I've dropped all the classes that have to do with my major. I'm only taking 3 classes right now. When I go to Delhi I'm going to do Individual Studies and try to figure out what I want to do with my life.

Bush won the election. I can honestly say I'm really, really scared. I didn't want him to get re-elected. I don't know what's going to happen in the next 4 years, but it scares me to think about it. I voted for Kerry. It makes me sad that he didn't win. Nicole and I went home just to vote on Tuesday, then she came back here and stayed until about midnight watching election coverage. We're both pretty upset about it. But...what can you do? Sigh.

In some happy news, I'm meeting Nate in person tomorrow. I told him I'd be going to the movies with Allison and he said he'd be there. I'm pretty excited about it.

Halloween was alright. We dressed up as people from the 80's.

Oh and here are my upcoming shows:

11/13 - Midtown, Matchbook Romance (in Albany at Northern Lights, going with Chris and Frank)
11/20 - Story of the Year (at SUNY Geneseo, going with Nicole)


Ok. I think I'm going to go study for my English test some more.

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this poison's my intoxication [30 Sep 2004|08:06pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I'm going home tomorrow. Can't wait.

Tonight I hung out with Nicole for a while. We ate at school then we came back here and watched TV. I took her to Brendan's so she could see if he wanted to study with her. Then I brought both Brendan and Nicole back to her apartment and came back here.

Now I'm sitting in my room on my computer like I do all the time. Veronica and Rebecca are out in the living room. I can hear them. I could go out there...but I just don't want to.

After this semester I'm pretty sure I'm transferring to either Oneonta or Delhi. I just can't stay here. It's too hard. I've never cried this much in my life. Every day I just wish it would be Friday so I can go home and I dread Sundays because that's when I have to come back here.

I'm dropping my major. I don't what I want to do with my life, but it's not this. I dropped my video production class because it was just making me more miserable. I wish I had a clear plan of what I wanted. I feel like I'm just wasting my time here now that I know I don't want to be in this major. It sucks.

Nicole said she might go home with me tomorrow. I have to call her about that because we never finished talking about it. I'd like her to come back with me. It's a long drive alone.

So yeah...I don't know.

One thing I am happy about - Story of the Year is coming to SUNY Geneseo on November 20th. Nicole and I are going. My 9th time seeing SOTY. Good times.

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...if it helps you fall asleep. [23 Sep 2004|05:49pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

It's Thursday. I only had 2 classes today and that was nice. Freshman Seminar is almost over and that will make my life just a little easier.

There's this kid who is really creepy. He's in 3 of my classes and I really don't like him. He always tries to stand next to me or sit next to me in class and he'll do weird things like poke me and just other stuff. I can't explain him, he just creeps me out and I hate it because I already feel so incredibly stressed right now, I don't need him to add onto it.

I'm feeling really left out. It's my fault though. Veronica and Rebecca, our neighbor hang out all the time. They don't really ask me to hang out with them, but I guess they just figure I'll come if I want...and to be honest, I don't really want to. I don't know why.

Its been 3 weeks and I'm still not comfortable here. I'm so unsure of everything. I don't even think what I'm majoring in is what I want to do. I hate that I have no idea what I want in my life. I just majored in this because I thought I needed a major. I never really gave it any thought. Now I'm feeling like I'm screwing everything up.

Its been 3 weeks and I still get extremely nervous when I go to class. I don't know what exactly I'm nervous about. I'm just a nervous person.

Mom wants me to go out and do things and make friends. I can't do that. I don't like going out around here...unless it's with Nicole because I feel comfortable around her. She's the only person I feel comfortable with around here.

I still hate it here. I'm going home tomorrow again. I've gone home every weekend...which is exactly what people told me not to do. Oh well. If I don't go home I'll just be here miserable.

It sucks that I'm still sitting here crying about being here. I thought that maybe by now I'd be feeling comfortable, but I don't. I can't wait to go home and on Sunday when I have to come back I'm going to be miserable. This place makes me miserable.

I wish I wasn't so unsure of everything. I wish I wasn't so shy.

At least I'm going home tomorrow.

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